A Plea for Help in Tennessee: “In memory of Connor, and in hope for Jacelyn”

I am writing to you not only as a mother, but as a sister, daughter, wife, and grieving family member who has spent nearly four years fighting for answers, justice, and the return of our child. I am reaching out because I believe the Tennessee Department of Children's Services (DCS) failed our family in multiple ways, and the consequences of those failures have devastated our lives.

This letter is difficult to write because it requires revisiting some of the most painful moments our family has ever experienced. However, after years of unanswered questions, no criminal charges, no resolution, and no meaningful accountability, I feel compelled to bring our story before someone who has the authority and willingness to listen.

In July of 2022, my husband and I became kinship placement providers for my younger brother, Connor, who was then approximately 16 months old. Connor had previously been removed from my parents due to allegations involving drug use. Specifically, DCS accused my parents of using methamphetamine based on a rapid hair follicle test. 

However, subsequent hair follicle testing did not detect methamphetamine or other drugs, and our family possesses documentation supporting those results. My parents had already maintained sobriety for several years, and the allegations did not accurately reflect their circumstances.

After Connor was removed from my parents, he was placed with my maternal great-aunt. A few months later, DCS removed him from her care as well, citing allegations that she was incompetent, that she allowed unsupervised contact between Connor and my parents, and other concerns. What is particularly troubling is that DCS did not notify our family that Connor had been removed from my great-aunt's home. My husband and I personally had to go to the DCS office and request custody of my brother because no one contacted eligible family members about his removal or need for placement.

When DCS workers Kelly McCormick and Danielle Johnson brought Connor to our home, his condition alarmed me. He was wearing a dirty shirt, had no pants, his diaper was full of feces, he had a severe diaper rash, and he was carrying a sippy cup containing warm milk. It was July in Tennessee, approximately 80 degrees outside, humid from a recent storm, and I was shocked by the condition in which he was transported. As a young caregiver entrusted with my brother's well-being, I immediately felt that he had not been appropriately cared for during that transition.

Despite these concerns, my husband and I embraced the responsibility of caring for Connor. We attended every recommended appointment, followed medical guidance, and ensured he received consistent care and attention. As any loving caregivers would, we closely monitored his health and well-being, especially as he adjusted to a new home and routine. We loved him as our own and worked diligently to provide him with a stable, safe, and nurturing environment where he could thrive.

Everything appeared to be going well until early August 2022.

Connor began experiencing persistent fevers and unusual irritability. As expected with a young child who appeared unwell, I took him to both a pediatrician and a dentist to ensure nothing serious was being overlooked. I expressed my concerns in detail, explaining that he was running fevers, fussier than normal, and clearly did not seem to feel well.

At the time, I was only nineteen years old. I was also caring for my own eleven-month-old daughter. Like many young parents, I trusted the medical professionals. I believed they knew best. They were the experts, and I followed the advice I was given.

For a few days, Connor appeared to improve. Then came the night of August 12, 2022.

That evening, my husband, our eleven-month-old daughter, Connor, and I were together at home watching television after dinner. Connor became fussy, but given the recent illness and the fact that it was bedtime, we believed he was simply tired. I carried him to his room, placed him in his crib, kissed him goodnight, and turned out the light. 

Looking back, I now wonder whether his fussiness may have been related to pain or a headache that we did not recognize. Connor had gone to bed for the night at approximately 7:30 p.m. Later that evening, around 9:30 p.m., I quietly changed his diaper while he was still asleep. He had a habit of filling his diaper overnight, and I routinely changed him before I went to bed to ensure he stayed clean and comfortable. 

Around 11:00 p.m., I checked on him once more and covered him back up with his blanket because he frequently kicked it off while sleeping. At that time, he remained asleep, and there was nothing unusual about his appearance, breathing, or behavior that would have been found alarming.

The next morning changed our lives forever.

On weekends, my husband would usually get up with Connor, take him downstairs, make breakfast, and let me sleep a little longer with our daughter. Instead, sometime around 8:00 a.m. on August 13, 2022, my husband burst into our bedroom carrying Connor in his arms and screaming for me to wake up. Connor was unresponsive.

I immediately grabbed him and yelled for my husband to call 911 while I attempted CPR. Panic, confusion, terror, and disbelief overwhelmed us. We had no idea what was happening or why. When emergency responders arrived, they immediately transported Connor to the ambulance.

We received no answers. We followed to Ascension Saint Thomas Highlands Hospital in Sparta, Tennessee, where we were told only that he was very sick. According to the medical records we later obtained, hospital staff documented no signs of trauma, bruising, or evidence of foul play during their initial evaluation.

Connor was subsequently airlifted to the Pediatric Intensive Care Unit at Vanderbilt University Medical Center. We spent hours waiting, crying, praying, and searching for answers. Eventually, we were informed that Connor had suffered a brain bleed and that his prognosis was poor. Our family was devastated.

As the hours passed, we remained focused on one thing: hoping and praying that Connor would survive. Instead, while we were struggling to comprehend what had happened, we became the focus of suspicion.

Investigators and a DCS worker, Mickie Gardenhire, questioned my husband and me separately. We were interrogated while my brother lay critically ill. We were confused and shocked by the implication that we had somehow harmed him. We knew we had not. Our family knew we had not. Yet, we suddenly found ourselves being treated as suspects rather than devastated caregivers desperately seeking answers.

Following those interviews, doctors examined our eleven-month-old daughter, Jacelyn. According to the medical evaluations, she was healthy and showed no signs of abuse or injury. Despite this, DCS removed her from our custody. I will never forget that moment.

Just four days before her first birthday, while we were simultaneously facing the possible death of my little brother, a DCS worker took our daughter from my arms. We were told she was being removed, and we were left with no meaningful explanation that justified tearing her away from her parents. 

At the same time, Connor remained on life support at Vanderbilt. Although my parents did not have physical custody of Connor at that time, they retained medical decision-making rights regarding his care. 

During those heartbreaking days, our family felt significant pressure surrounding discussions of Connor's prognosis and end-of-life decisions. While we were desperately hoping for recovery and searching for every possible option, conversations increasingly focused on withdrawing life support. The emotional toll of navigating those circumstances while simultaneously losing our daughter to state custody is difficult to adequately put into
words. We were exhausted, grieving, traumatized, and in complete shock.

On August 17, 2022, Connor passed away. Five days later, on August 22, we buried him.

Our family laid him to rest in a green button-up shirt and blue jeans. His favorite Shrek stuffed animal was buried with him. Because of the procedures performed after his death, a small toboggan was placed on his head to cover the stitches left behind. These are memories no family should have to carry.

Today, nearly four years later, our family continues to dispute the conclusions that were reached regarding Connor's death. We believe there are significant medical questions that were never fully explored and substantial evidence that deserves independent consideration. Equally concerning to us is that, despite the severity of the allegations made against my husband and me, there was never what we perceived to be a thorough investigative process. Other than the initial interviews conducted at Vanderbilt while Connor was hospitalized, we were never subjected to additional questioning by law enforcement regarding the circumstances of his death. 

To our knowledge, no comprehensive investigation of our home was conducted, no examination of Connor's sleeping environment was performed, and no reconstruction or review of the areas where he spent his time occurred. In fact, we were asked to take and provide photographs ourselves rather than having investigators document the scene directly. 

As parents who were effectively accused of causing a child's death, we expected the type of detailed investigation normally associated with such serious allegations. Instead, we were left with the impression that critical investigative steps were either limited or never undertaken, while conclusions about what occurred were reached regardless.

The circumstances surrounding Connor's death remain the subject of serious disagreement, particularly in light of subsequent medical review and expert opinions that challenge the conclusions initially presented to our family. Yet our daughter remains separated from us.

Over the years, we have sought independent medical review of Connor's case. One physician who reviewed the available imaging and records was Dr. Saadi Ghatan, a pediatric neurosurgeon with decades of experience. Based on his review, he expressed disagreement with the conclusion that Connor's injuries were caused by shaken baby syndrome or blunt force trauma. Instead, he suggested that Connor may have suffered from hydrocephalus or another medical condition that could have led to a seizure, respiratory compromise, and subsequent complications.

We understand that medical opinions can differ. We are not asking anyone to accept a conclusion without review. We are simply asking that these concerns be examined fairly and objectively. We believe the questions raised deserve serious consideration, particularly because Connor reportedly had no documented fractures, broken bones, bruising, external injuries, or other physical signs commonly associated with severe physical abuse.

Another concern that has weighed heavily on our family is that we have been told on multiple occasions by individuals connected to DCS that criminal charges will likely never be filed against my husband or me regarding Connor's death. While we have maintained our innocence from the very beginning, this situation has created a profound sense of injustice. 

We have endured nearly four years of consequences stemming from allegations that have never resulted in criminal charges, yet we have been left without a clear path to fully challenge those allegations and clear our names. In many ways, it feels as though we are being asked to continue living under suspicion while being denied a meaningful opportunity to present the evidence we believe supports our innocence and our fitness as
parents. This has significantly impacted our efforts to reunify with our daughter and move forward as a family.

For nearly four years, we have lived under allegations that have never resulted in criminal charges, while continuing to fight for a fair review of the medical evidence and for the return of our daughter. During that time, our family has endured immeasurable grief, separation, and emotional hardship.

We have missed birthdays.
We have missed holidays.
We have missed milestones.
Our daughter will soon be five years old, and she has spent nearly her entire life being raised away from her parents.

We continue to pursue legal and medical avenues to seek correction of Connor's death certificate because we believe the findings deserve further scrutiny. Most of all, we continue to fight for the opportunity to bring our daughter home. We are not asking for special treatment. We are asking for fairness. We are asking for accountability. We are asking for an opportunity to have our concerns heard by someone willing to examine the facts without preconceived assumptions.

Our family has extensive documentation, including medical records, testing results, and records related to DCS involvement. We would be grateful for the opportunity to provide this information to your office or to any appropriate oversight body that may be willing to review our case.

We believe that no family should endure what we have endured without meaningful review or accountability. If mistakes were made, they should be acknowledged. If procedures were not
followed, they should be investigated. If innocent families are being harmed by systemic failures, then those failures must be addressed.

Above all else, we want our daughter home. We want to ensure Connor is never forgotten. We want a fair and independent review of the evidence. We want accountability where mistakes may have been made within the system and medical field.

We want our daughter's future to be determined by facts rather than assumptions. We want Connor's life to be remembered with dignity and truth. We hope that by sharing our story, meaningful changes can be made to protect other families from experiencing the same heartbreak, loss, and separation that our family has endured.

Thank you for taking the time to read our story. We sincerely hope you will consider reviewing our concerns and helping us identify any avenues for oversight, investigation, or assistance. We are prepared to provide supporting documentation and additional details whenever requested.

Respectfully,
Alyssa & Kody Slaton